daddy tried to take me to the vet today.

HA!

i scratched and clawed and bit for every little thing, scaring that nice cute new doctor. now she's afraid to touch me and thinks that i'm a hellion on wheels! i wouldn't let them take my temperature for the first time ever. daddy was so surprised that i was acting up. oh yeah, i don't see him letting people stick things up his butt! why should i?

i acted so badly that they had to take me into the back room for a time out just to give me one little vaccination shot. they're lucky it's good for three years!

i even scratched daddy in the face! that'll teach him. i thought i had him trained when he didn't take me in for a checkup last year. but maybe he'll learn for good this time!

6:31 PM

i don't know what's more embarrassing: that daddy made me a shill to get his fantasy football question answered:

Mike, San Francisco: With Byron Leftwich going down, I could pick up David Garrard, but with Trent Green and Jake Delhomme as backups, I think I'm fine. However, I'm a little more worried about my Jacksonville defense, as they might be on the field longer and give up more points. Should I instead look into picking up a free agent defense like Minnesota, Tennessee or Miami?

Engel: Green and Delhomme haven't been dependable, but they are both more proven than Garrard, so stick with those two QBs while playing the matchups the rest of the way. Garrard will keep the Jaguars' offense moving respectably, though, and the ground game will continue to be effective. Plus, Jacksonville has an easy schedule during the final few weeks. So don't worry about the defense getting overworked. Tennessee and Miami both have major defensive holes. But it's worth it to add the Vikings, who have scored 61 ESPN.com fantasy points over the past four games, and use them over the Jaguars. But keep Jacksonville's defense in case Minnesota starts to slide again.

...or that they misspelled my name. sigh.

11:00 PM

it's only been five years that mommy and daddy finally realized that i want to sleep in a kitty bed. maybe it was my sleeping on top of mommy's luggage while it was in the living room that did it.

or that fact that i immediately went to sleep on the bed that daddy just brought home.

how long until they realize that i want more food?

10:13 PM

daddy came home and fixed the machine. now i'm back to desperately fishing food out of it by hand.

to show my disapproval, i climbed up onto the bookshelf and ate the plant.

11:29 PM

mommy came home and found me swimming around in my pile of food. she turned off the machine and took all my new food away.

i hate her.

12:27 AM

my dream has finally come true. after years of desperately fishing little kibbles out of the feeding machine one at a time, finally i've turned it on, and it's giving me ALL OF THE FOOD at once! it's a waterfall of morsels, and i'm eating to my heart's delight!!! yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum

2:25 PM

daddy was mad today because i was running around naked when he came home. he made me put my collar back on, and yelled at me. that is such a double standard. i happen to know that he went to see naked ladies at the lusty lady yesterday, and apparently, it's ok for them to be naked but not me?

6:10 PM

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