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and

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Published: November 4, 2008

Barack Hussein Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States on Tuesday, sweeping away the last racial barrier in American politics with ease as the country chose him as its first black chief executive.

The election of Mr. Obama amounted to a national catharsis a repudiation of a historically unpopular Republican president and his economic and foreign policies, and an embrace of Mr. Obamas call for a change in the direction and the tone of the country.

But it was just as much a strikingly symbolic moment in the evolution of the nations fraught racial history, a breakthrough that would have seemed unthinkable just two years ago.
i honestly never thought i'd live to see the day. i kept breaking down in tears with both disbelief and joy.

yet my amazement is tempered by the shame of california approving prop 8. on the same day where we break through such barriers and actually elect a minority as president, how do we simultaneously mandate discrimination?

so far we've come, so far to go.

still, god bless america. incredible.

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tricks or treats!, originally uploaded by sassyass.

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(carrie on Nov 7, 2008 10:51 AM) death by cute

goats!, originally uploaded by sassyass.

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(Carrie on Oct 19, 2008 1:44 PM) She looks like she's about to present that goat with a smacker, right on the nose!

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something about the nanny not feeling comfortable enough to take care of snapper in case something happens again, and not having the medical training for this.

which leaves us FRACKED at least. because it's sort of hard to go back to work when NO ONE is watching your child. and when you have NO TIME or NOTICE to find other options.

thanks a lot.

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SO...

to recap.

tuesday morning snapper wakes up a little sniffly and sneezy. "crap," i'm thinking, as i really need to go to work for an imporant meeting and it's only the second day of her nannyshare. but the more disturbing thing is that she's waking up already wheezing. which has never happened before. also, her wheezing sounds wet, which is also new. given these two symptoms, i give her a dose of albuterol right away, which doesn't seem to have much effect. after breakfast, i dress her and we get ready to go to the nannyshare. stella's a little bit sick, but doesn't seem like she's uncomfortable. she is coughing a little, though. she coughs enough that she spits up a little. she's still wheezing, so i give her another dose of albuterol. not much effect.

but when she gets to the nanny she seems fine, so i tell the nanny that she's got a little bit of a cold so to watch out for her. i go home and do some work at home for the morning, and then as i'm leaving to go to the office, i get the call. the nanny says that snapper didn't take her morning nap, and is crying and complaining. she says i should pick her up.

i pick her up, and she's wheezing again, so i give her another albuterol. not much effect. turns out the nanny also gave her one after they played at the park. this is not good. thinking that she's maybe got something more illness-related, i call the doctor and get her into the office immediately.

they are not amused. they have me do another albuterol treatment, but this time with a nebulizer, which is longer and more concentrated. snapper doesn't like it. it doesn't seem to help that much. we do another one. and then a third, because sometimes it takes a couple to really clear up the lungs. but they don't.

they say that we've done all the right things so far, but given that it's not getting any better, we should go to the ER.

wow.

they've called over to the ER, so we get checked in right away. snapper's coughing and sneezing and still wheezing as we are waiting in the exam room. she coughs enough that she throws up all of her food and milk from today.

they move her to a bed that's closer to the front, right next to the nurses' station. in order to keep an eye on her. they hook her up to monitors, give her an IV to administer fluids and steroids, a nose tube to give her oxygen to make sure she's getting enough despite her wheezing. more albuterol through a nebulizer, which i hold to her mouth. my little baby is hooked up to tubes and tubes and tubes. she's scared and screaming. i keep trying not to lose it. but sometimes i can't.

the worst was when they had to get a third blood sample, and because the second one from the IV was a strange result, they wanted to get it directly from a vein in the arm. trying to hold down your baby daughter while she's screaming because someone's poking her in the arm is perhaps the hardest thing in the world.

we get transferred to the intensive care unit for the night. she sleeps with the albuterol mask on and the oxygen tubes. and all the other tubes. i get a little sleep on the recliner cot next to her, waking up with every sound.

thankfully, by morning they say she's well enough to go to a regular room. we get moved to the summit center, which is nice because the rooms are newer and private. we've got a nice view of oakland, emeryville, and you can see the bridges crossing the bay, with the city in the distance.

she gets slowly better, and they come and give her albuterol treatments every three hours. apparently also hospital HATE BABY NAPS because every time i get snapper to sleep, someone else pops in to wake her back up. it's like they're lying in wait.

they finally let us out of babyjail on friday morning.

what's happened in the world? there's been another debate, the economy has gone (further) into the crapper, and it's turned suddenly chilly. i have also learned you can make yogurt in your car by leaving a sippy cup full of milk in the cupholder for four days.

but i can't tell you how good it is to go home.

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(eetraveling on Oct 16, 2008 5:37 AM) Yikes! Sounds really scary. So glad to hear Snapper's ok.

if you haven't heard by now, the decision was to keep snapper with me up here, and just try to get care during the day while i'm at work. we had a couple of options to cobble together full time care, but in the end it worked out: we have full time care covered by one nanny, in the nannyshare that s has been trying to get us into FOREVER. three days at our house, two at the other, mostly either just snapper alone or with another kid, and two afternoons with three kids.

this all starts tomorrow, and of course now i'm back to square one: worrying and fretting about her being with someone else during the day, hoping that she'll adjust all right, and the oh-my-god-i-don't-want-to-leave-my-baby feeling again that i thought i had gotten over when we did daycare like six months ago.

one day of single parenthood and i'm already mentally reeling.

i look ahead and i'm filled with admiration for those whom this is their norm. yes, i'm talking about YOU, miss april. surely it'll be fine once i get past the first few days, but man, that initial descent is looking mighty steep.

oh, and did i mention? that trip to australia? totally happening. like LEAVING FRIDAY totally happening. which means just four days of nannyshare, then packing snapper up and flying with her (first time ever!?!) down to lost angels and dropping her off with her grandparents, en route to sydney. then back ten days later, and picking her up from other grandparents to fly her back home. in the meantime, i got to figure what to pack for my australia trip, and also what to pack for her lost angels stay and how to get it all down there.

because that's the easy solution. oh wait, that's not right...

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(xz on Oct 5, 2008 7:31 PM) it's starting to be spring here in melbourne. so, uh, today it is bright and sunny and hailing. we wore shorts yesterday. today, i'm wishing i had a warmer hoodie on. the good news is, half the t-shirt we own we got from you so you can borrow stuff you know you'll like...

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(xz on Sep 28, 2008 10:23 PM) oooh oooh ooooh! you come australia! pretty please!

we're moving to lost angels.

probably. definitely. most definitely. no, seriously, for all the reasons we've gone over and over during the last how many ever years that seems like an eternity, and despite all the reasons that have kept us from doing so for the same years, it's just something we need to do right now. despite all of our wonderful friends who are here and who are coming back. despite all of the babies and families around here that we love and are exited to death about. despite it being much better here in practically every single way.

but if hmc can't work, it doesn't make sense. and i'm not doing the thing where we live apart anymore. especially not with snapper around. or worse yet, not around.

so, logistics? i told them i'd be fully moved down there by end of january. which is enough time to give us some time, and perhaps too much time that it gives me time to procrastinate for a couple of months and then get back in "oh SHIT" panic mode.

as for the house? i dunno. we love it, and would hate to sell it, and i don't even know if it makes sense to sell it in this market, although that's based on no actual hard data, seeing as we haven't consulted any realtors about it. perhaps we'll try and rent it out, to keep the door open to returning in a couple of years.

heaven forbid we commit to anything.

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(sparkle on Sep 18, 2008 3:31 PM) please tell me you're not hanging around here this weekend to watch a bunch of adults dance... we've been doing this walking thing for YEARS. go see the little one. or, fly down to get her and bring her as your "object". ;-)