well-rounded/baby

one of the things i really struggle with as a new parent is exactly how much of my life to sacrifice to raising a kid. don’t get me wrong: i’m not someone who doesn’t expect or want my life to change as a result of having a child, in fact i welcome it and enjoy it. yet it’s hard for me to figure out exactly how much of my life to sacrifice for the sake of parenting, especially when i’m ready and willing to give anything and everything up for the sake of my daughter.

yet this can’t be good or healthy in the long run. i have to remind myself that i’m not shirking my duties by wanting to go out once in a while and see a movie or a show, or even going out to buy some records or whatever. yet when there’s any sort of time conflict, i feel bad choosing myself when snapper or hmc could use my time, whether it’s just staying at home and watching her or being around to take a walk or give her a bath, or being able to watch her to allow hmc to get out of the house and experience a little freedom from child house arrest.

there’s an article in the nytimes about the novel and exciting idea of sharing parenting duties 50-50:

but on the other hand i realize that often i swing too far in choosing noble parenthood, and needlessly sacrificing everything in the name of parenthood doesn’t win anyone any prizes. at worst this would burn me out and perhaps cause feelings of resentment, and at the very least snapper gets a father who hasn’t grown or changed since 2007.

the tiny step towards this was going to yoga last week for father’s day. which was the first time in a year. surprisingly, the world hadn’t fallen apart while i was gone.