this bag is not a toy

you know you’ve seen all those warnings on plastic bags and those little inflatable plastic pillows amazon insists on sending you every time you order another Hummel figurine:

Warning - This bag is not a toy. Plastic bags can be dangerous. To avoid danger of suffocation, keep this bag away from babies and children.

well, of course, you think. who would be foolish enough to let their children play with plastic bags? and then, you have children. and you realize that BABIES LOVE PLASTIC BAGS. maybe it would help if they didn’t make the exact same super interesting crinkly sound that so many baby toys already make (which i suspect, is the result of them having plastic bags hidden inside). and of course you’re not going to let them put some shopping bag over their head and roll around in the crib.

however, would it be possible that we’ve let her play with a closed ziplock bag with whatever rattly things inside it to keep her entertained while we’re just trying to just get one thing done for just a minute or two? or that we’ve let her chew on a thick ziplock because it’s probably less lethal than all the other things she’s sitting next to?

if you’re from child services, then uh, NO, we haven’t. that would be silly. i don’t know what you’re talking about.