i just passed my six year anniversary working for ******. who would have thought that i would have lasted so long hucking storage? this is what you get when you join just as the dot-com boom is starting and you end up with a options strike price of $115.
i also realized that i just passed my ten year anniversary of living in san francisco. to think that this was all just an experiment, to just play around and live in the city of my dreams for a little bit before i settle down. the next thing you know, a decade has gone by. does that mean i was wearing parachute pants when i arrived?
of course i can’t neglect the most important anniversary of all, which is actually today, that being my third wedding anniversary. the gift for the third year is traditionally leather, or if going by the modern standard crystal or glass. although if you count the time we’ve actually lived together, that’s maybe a year and a half, so i think that downgrades that to, uh, woodchuck?
it’s a little odd to not see each other for our anniversary, but i suppose that goes along with living in different cities. i’m flying down there tomorrow so we can celebrate it this weekend, which would be fine except for the hubub. in response and to make sure that acts of attempted terrorism don’t actually inflict more terror on the public, the TSA, as i’m sure you’ve heard, has banned all liquids and gels from being carried onto flights:
sure, this may sound reactionary, and in fact there are already the obvious outcries. but READ BETWEEN THE LINES, people! what could be so alarming in liquid form that would require such drastic and draconian measures? can’t you see? doesn’t anyone remember? it’s obvious:
John: This is deep…So this other guy? He’s a terminator like you, right?
Terminator: Not like me. A T-1000. Advanced prototype.
John: You mean more advanced than you are?
Terminator: Yes. A mimetic polyalloy.
John: What the hell does that mean?
Terminator: Liquid metal.
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