July 13, 2006

movie reviews: the formula!

in the interest of time and me actually getting to packing for this weekend, instead of spouting thoughts on the five movies i saw in three days last weekend, i’ll let javi summarize them using his brilliant basic movie review formula. for example:

IF the movie is a re-invention of an existing but long-dormant franchise (or a maverick and visionary director’s re-imagining of a classic film/play/work of literature) begin here:

in spite of director INSERT DIRECTOR’S NAME HERE’s endless affirmation of his/her love of the source material, his/her treatment of these venerable and beloved characters reeks of short-sighted fetishism and learning the wrong lessons from an original that truly did not require his/her attention. indeed, the mind truly boggles at how the final product could be such a tedious, flatulent and bloated kludge of half-baked ideas, squandered opportunities and criminally overblown special effects that do nothing to serve the human reality of the story.


aside from that, is anyone else really disturbed by all these trailers for this barnyard movie? and can someone explain to me why all these MALE COWS HAVE UDDERS? AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE?

Posted at July 13, 2006 11:00 PM
Comments

kludge is a good word.

Posted by: xz at July 14, 2006 9:56 AM

The quality of the animation suggests that you in fact made this movie. With your wife’s new powerbook. Last weekend.

Posted by: ohbejuan at July 15, 2006 5:35 PM

ohbejuan,

please don’t insult e like that. it’s just not nice.

roo

Posted by: roo at July 15, 2006 8:47 PM

sorry for the double posting. my mouse clicker thingy is all sticking for some reason…

Posted by: roo at July 15, 2006 8:52 PM

i think he’s making fun of that damn barnyard movie, not the macboo pro of which he’s jealous. because now his powerbook sucks ass.

Posted by: e at July 16, 2006 11:10 AM

MacBook Pro? try mac mini. No I was just insulting the movie. Let me say that another way. You and i could have done a better job last weekend on my mac mini, e.

Posted by: ohbejuan at July 16, 2006 7:07 PM

sorry. inflection doesn’t come through on this thing. i was completely with you, ob1.

(and, again, in advance, apologies for the double posting…i swear i’m getting it fixed this week.)

Posted by: roo at July 16, 2006 9:45 PM

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