July 6, 2006

competition and nausea

i can’t read anymore about big ben going to chicago. it’s making my stomach hurt and my head spin. suddenly, it seems like we gave up darko and carlos for nothing. and memo too!

and now i don’t know what to do with my big ben bobbleheads!

i’ve got to talk about something else. what better than the world of competitive eating?

i happened to catch the nathan’s famous hot dog eating competition on espn yesterday morning. i kid you not.

this was broadcast LIVE. on national tv. how can you NOT watch?

twenty people who qualified by competing on the hot dog eating circuit stepped up and were introduced one by one, with their vital stats displayed on screen, as well as their ifoce ranking. what’s that? it’s the international federation of competitive eating. (seriously. who knew?) and although hot dog is somehow the glamour event, the other contestants came with their respective titles in their specialty events. corned beef. key lime pie. hard boiled eggs. rhubarb pie. ribs. grilled cheese sandwiches. bratwurst. bologna. tamales. shoo-fly pie!

the contestants included the 60-year-old richard “the locust” lefevre (6lbs of spam from the can in 12 minutes), sonya “the black widow” thomas— the only woman and the #2 ranked eater in the world (65 hard boiled eggs in 6 minutes, 40 seconds, 46 dozen oysters in 10 minutes) who normally only eats one meal a day, bob shoudt— who is normally a vegetarian and only eats meat in competitions, and the hot rookie joey chestnut [i can’t make this up!] (6.25lbs tempura fried asparagus in 10 minutes, 47 grilled cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes).

although joey made it really close and it was neck and neck during the 12 minutes, with each grappling for the lead, in the end the legendary takeru kobayashi won again, with 53 3/4 hot dogs, breaking his own world record.

according to this foreign policy magazine interview with “competitive eating expert” george shea:

The nations who have embraced it the most are, in order of magnitude, the United States, Japan, and England. [Competitive eating] plays on sports obsessions—the pageantry and the hosting and the play-by-play commentary. Some see it as absurd and comedic and entertaining. In Japan, they play it straight. Actually, they don’t even play it; it is straight. Their contests are longer and more grueling. It’s a function of their reality TV culture.

all in all, it was really exciting, stupid, and in many ways very disgusting. i may never eat again.

some selected ifoce records after the break:

Baked Beans, Long Course
8.4 Pounds Baked Beans/ 84 Lumber
2 minutes 47 seconds/ Aug. 7, 2004
Sonya Thomas

Beef Tongue
3 pound 3 ounces pickled beef tongue whole
12 minutes
Dominic Cardo

Birthday Cake
Five Pounds/ TripRewards 1st Birthday
11 Minutes, 26 Seconds/ May 10, 2005
Richard LeFevre

Butter
7 quarter-pound sticks, salted butter
5 minutes
Don Lerman

Chicken Nuggets
80 Chicken Nuggets
5 Minutes
Sonya Thomas

Chicken Wings, National Buffalo Wing Festival
161 chicken wings, 5.09 lbs
12 minutes/ Sept. 5, 2004
Sonya Thomas

Cow Brains
57 (17.7 pounds)
15 minutes
Takeru Kobayashi

Eggs
65 Hard Boiled Eggs
6 minutes, 40 seconds
Sonya Thomas

Fruitcake
4 pounds, 14 1/4 ounces Wegmans Fruitcake
10 minutes/ Dec. 30, 2003
Sonya Thomas

Gelatin Dessert
7 16-ounce portions
3 minutes
Steve Lakind

Key Lime Pie
10.8 pounds Key Lime Pie
8 minutes/Mar. 21, 2006
Patrick Bertoletti

Maine Lobster/ Kennebunk
44 Maine Lobsters (11.3 Pounds of meat) from the shell
12 minutes/ Aug. 13, 2005
Sonya Thomas

Matzo Balls
21 baseball-sized
5 minutes 25 seconds
Eric Booker

Mayonnaise
4 32-ounce bowls mayonnaise
8 minutes
Oleg Zhornitskiy

Onions
8.5 ounces Maui Onions (three onions)/ Whalers Village
1 minute/ Aug. 8, 2004
Eric Booker

Oysters
46 Dozen Acme Oysters/ Acme Oyster House
10 Minutes/ Mar. 20, 2005
Sonya Thomas

Pancakes
3 1/2 pounds pancakes & bacon
12 minutes
Crazy Legs Conti

Quesadilla
31.5 4-inch Cheese Quesadilla
5 minutes
Sonya Thomas

Rice Balls
20 pounds rice balls
30 minutes
Takeru Kobayashi

SPAM
6 pounds of SPAM from the can/ SPAMARAMA
12 minutes/ Apr. 3, 2004
Richard LeFevre

Turducken
7 3/4 pounds Turducken.com Thanksgiving Dinner
12 minutes/ Nov. 26, 2003
Sonya Thomas

Posted at July 6, 2006 12:26 AM
Comments

the mayo grosses me out most of all. ew.

Posted by: roo at July 6, 2006 9:42 AM

how are you going to enter the exciting world of competitive eating with that attitude?

Posted by: e at July 6, 2006 10:05 AM

The great Kobayashi wins again! I was there to see it too and it was a good show (even though my view of the eaters was limited). Incredible amounts of energy in the crowd.

It’s bizarre how passionate Koby’s fans are for him. I experienced it firsthand after the contest. Crazy, crazy stuff.

Posted by: Mega Munch at July 7, 2006 5:34 AM

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