i should have bought a razr after all.

after tahoe and kid koala on saturday, quick drive down to lost angels sunday for melissa’s birthday party. stayed in town on monday hanging out at the moca, and then flew out to austin for work monday night.

for some reason all the good hotels in austin were sold out this week, and i couldn’t seem to get anywhere decent downtown for three days in a row. i ended up booking the park plaza.

when you hear “park plaza”, you think of a certain level of quality. sure, it’s certainly not going to be the super fancy prestigious hotel in new york, but you’d think there’s at least some level of vetting going on.

let me posit three nuggets:

1. the park plaza austin is by the mall. THE MALL.
2. the mall has a strip club on the mall grounds. oh, i’m sorry, cabaret. (in answer to your question, no. because it’s IN A MALL.)
3. when i got back into my room wednesday night, i was brushing my teeth at 2:30am, and i look over to see something in the corner of my eye on the floor. something moving. it’s a cockroach THE SIZE OF MY CELL PHONE. yeah, everything’s bigger in texas, right?

i wanted to kill it, but with what? i’m in a hotel bathroom. toilet paper? fuck that shit. do you see the size of this thing? i end up trying to smash it with the trash can, which i’m sure delighted the guy next door. BAM!! BAM!! two in the morning and i’m smashing the tile floor with plastic can. the roach manages to escape me, runs into the main room and makes a dash for the bed.

FUCK THAT.

i manage to trap him before he gets there, and end up with a wastebasket in the middle of the room, covered with a tourist guide to austin on top. in case it decides to lift the trashcan up with its proportionally huge strength or something.

i end up leaving it there, with a note on top that says, “COCKROACH UNDERNEATH WASTEBASKET”.

i think the moral of the story is that i need a smaller cell phone. or don’t stay at that park plaza.

Posted at April 6, 2006 5:48 PM