February 8, 2006

travel the world! find religion!

from the nytimes:

It was the breakup that shocked legions of fans. She was the image of perfection dressed in Pepto-Bismol pink, with a dozen movie credits under her Size 2 belt, several best-selling advice books and a line of accessories that bore her name.

He was her dashing playmate in short shorts, with a washboard stomach, a killer smile and a pampered life of tennis, surfing and roller skating.

Now, after a heart-wrenching, two-year separation — for the record, it was her idea — Ken and Barbie are headed for a romantic reunion, according to their handlers. Ken’s new attraction? A makeover, set to be unveiled today at a news conference in Manhattan, that finds him sporting a more rugged jaw line, wearing cargo pants and listening to Norah Jones.

In February 2004, as every 5-year-old knows, Ken and Barbie called it quits. According to Mattel, which says it relies on customer feedback on its Web site to shape the Barbie-Ken narrative, Barbie was wooed away by an Australian surfer named Blaine.

Ken, heartbroken, traveled the world in search of himself, making stops in Europe and the Middle East, dabbling in Buddhism and Catholicism, teaching himself to cook and slowly weaning himself off a beach bum life.

During the news conference this morning, timed to the opening of the American International Toy Fair in New York on Sunday, the new and improved Ken will emerge, restyled by a celebrity primper, Phillip Bloch, who has dressed Pierce Brosnan, Johnny Depp and Sean Combs.

Gone are Ken’s outdated swimming trunks and dull T-shirts. Ken’s new wardrobe will include cargo pants, a fitted suit with peak lapels and a motorcycle jacket. A facial resculpting, as Mattel calls it — Ken’s first in more than a decade — will give him a more defined nose and a softer mouth.

“It’s Matthew McConaughey meets Orlando Bloom,” Mr. Bloch said in an interview.


how, exactly, do you dabble in Buddhism and Catholicism? chant while eating crackers? burn incense tied together in the shape of a crucifix?

i guess we should just be thankful that he didn’t also start messing with the kabbalah. material boy indeed.

Posted at February 8, 2006 9:32 PM
Comments

“dabble in catholicism” is code for “boinking a nun.”

Posted by: xz at February 12, 2006 1:39 AM

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