who needs a camelbak when you could have a camelbra?
By LOUISE COMPTON
Sun Online
WATER bra-vellous idea!
This new bikini may look a bit weird but it’s chest great for keeping cool.
The bra’s filter funnel means bikini babes can top up the water level at their leisure, controlling how cool they keep their boobs.
while hmc was out last weekend at danger’s bachelorette party i decided to rip apart the house.
first out, that damn coffee table.
once long ago beloved, a simple ikea coffee table that i spray painted gold and then stenciled. however, i forgot to seal it, so the paint’s been flaking off for the past eight years. and now it’s just a place to store crap in our living room.
no more.
out.
second, out with all these electronics that i never use.
sony playstation and 100 some games? out. audio cassette deck? out. vcr? out. automated turntable? ooooh, tough, but out.
this allows me to consolidate the amp, the tivo, and the dvd changer into the tv stand. then i can push the ginormous drafting table into the corner.
voila: more space in the living room!
but what do we do with all these space?
apparently there was a stripper pole dancing class as part of danger’s weekend activities. sure, classes are nice, but when and where do you practice? it turns out that the poles are not that expensive, only $100 or so. but you need the space to practice and swing around.
hey, now we got nothing but space.
like hmc said, “if you build it, they will come.”
while i was out with w hopping between a dinner where burnin’ steph’s andrew was at and then going to sb’s birthday dinner, i realized that people in these social engagements, to just make casual conversation, often ask me, “so, how are you doing”?
and i realize: i have no idea how to answer this question.
i want to reply, “fine. i guess. why do you care? what do you really want to know?”
“oh, fine, just working a lot, you know, keeping busy,” i invariably answer. or non-answer.
w had a good insight as to why i have so much trouble answering this question: it’s because i don’t know what’s going on. no, not that i’m just stupid or not paying attention, but more that our life is been in limbo for so long that having everything unresolved makes it impossible to answer that question.
are we moving to lost angels? are we not? where? when? why?
hmc’s got two job opportunities right now: one to work back at sony, for the new bob z show on beowulf, or possibly to work on the new james cameron pic avatar.
beowulf factors:
what does this all mean? more uncertainty. if avatar, then move to lost angels. i’m not doing another 2 year stint of being up here while hmc is down there. but if it’s beowulf, then maybe it’s up in the air again for a few more months? because if she doesn’t sign on for post, why move down there?
do you see now why i don’t know how i’m doing? i don’t know what i’m doing. or where i’m doing it.
not to mention when.
i just sold the land cruiser.
for $1500 more than the three lowball offers i resisted taking.
woooOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOOooooo!
drinks/lap dances are on me.
great new music video for the chemical brothers “the boxer”. basketball and beats, what could be better?
thank goodness for mame.
these brilliant guys have come up with a little arcade game emulator that you can run on your pc, allowing you to play classic games in the comfort of your own home. or bus. or work. er, i mean home. why get carpal tunnel syndrome using excel when you can get it playing gravitar?
best of all, there’s nobody hogging the machine, so you get to play all you want. like my new favorite game uo poko. or mappy.
THAT’S RIGHT MR. MAPPY HOG! i’ll be catching the cat burgulars now, bitch.
speaking of cat burgulars, i have a confession to make.
i saw catwoman.
no, not the real catwoman. that would be something exciting, something great.
i mean catwoman the movie. with halle berry. the one that’s full of ass.
no, i mean the movie’s full of ass. it’s so bad that from the opening moments, you hear the terrible voiceover and you know that this movie sucks and it’s going to suck hard the entire movie. and it’s only been THIRTY SECONDS SO FAR.
worst use of voiceover since harrison ford and the original version of blade runner.
there’s just so much ass in this movie. from the bad cgi to the bad acting to that senseless basketball scene to every other scene which is also pretty senseless. and then sharon stone as the aging beauty turned evil ceo who gains super-strong skin from her company’s toxic botox creme making her a supermodel version of the thing? not a bad concept, but oh, the acting. or what’s the opposite of acting? whatever that is. i saw it. it hurt my eyes. it burns. it burns, mommy.
how bad does a movie have to be that you can’t even sit there an enjoy halle berry walk around? well, i now know. it has to be catwoman bad. you do have to love her for having the good humor to laugh at herself and accept the razzie for worst actress in person.
but you don’t have to watch it.
i was playing with wordpress for the past week, contemplating migrating this entire blog to that off of mt.
why?
because i’m stupid. or bored. or stupid and bored. or i don’t have enough ways to waste time in my life already.
actually, it was just the thought of moving to a platform that seemed easy to implement, and was still active and had development being done to it, as opposed to the long-abandoned free version of mt that i’m using now.
i liked the way you can quicky switch themes instantly, and all the plugins that are available. i also liked the instant archive feature that someone came up with.
alas, after getting everything installed and imported, i don’t think i’m going to switch over.
why?
wordpress doesn’t support multiple blogs.
i wasted all this time trying to figure out how to make three blogs show up in one page, and then i realized that it doesn’t even support more than one blog. if you want more than one you need to do three installations. true, wp people point out that what people want multiple blogs for can/should actually be done using categories, and sure, that’s true, but then that means going back and importing each blog under a different category and then figuring out how to display only category x in this part and category y in that part and suddenly this is a huge pain in the ass.
maybe i’ll just steal this picture from natalie dee instead:
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — A man who left an accident scene was tracked down with the help of some cheerleaders who witnessed the crash and turned his license plate number into a cheer, police said.
Members of the Lincoln High School varsity cheerleading squad from neighboring Ypsilanti were in Ann Arbor for a Universal Cheerleaders Association’s camp when they saw the wreck near the University of Michigan campus.
“I knew I was going to not remember it because there was too much going on,” coach Patricia Clark said Monday on NBC’s “Today.” “So, when I ran down the street and got the plate number, I yelled to the girls: ‘Remember this!”’
The cheerleaders put their skills to work, chanting the license number.
“The coach just said it and we were saying it over and over, and then it just turned into a big chant since we kept repeating it,” said Kimmie Ostrowski, a senior captain for the team who also appeared on “Today.”
According to police reports, a truck hit a car stopped at a traffic light Wednesday, and the impact forced that car into another vehicle, which then hit another one.
The truck driver, found at his home, told officers he didn’t think the damage was severe enough to stop, police Lt. Mike Logghe told The Ann Arbor News.
The man wasn’t arrested and his name wasn’t released, but police said he could face a misdemeanor charge of leaving the scene of an accident.
i’m glad to know that my old home town is being kept safe. by cheerleaders.
today i took mike down to san jose to go to the california extreme 2005 convention.
why? because it’s EXTREEEME!
don’t get the wrong idea, though, given that ironically enough the x-games are going on right now in lost angels. this is about as un-x-games as you can get.
the ca-x-05 is a classic arcade game convention. you basically fork up $25 smackers, and they let you in and you get to see and play hundreds of old arcade and pinball games all day long.
sweeeet.
what are we talking about? we’re talking about food fight. we’re talking about tapper. sinistar. time pilot. tempest. cliff hanger! toobin’. top skater. paperboy. not only are we talking about tron, but we’re also talking about discs of tron.
wizards of wor, man. dragon’s lair AND dragon’s lair 2.
you want old school? sure, anyone can pull out pong, but how about space war, which some claim to be the first video game ever? damn, i love that game. two little vector graphic ships, flying around. turn on the planet. turn on gravity! who needs secret sex codes to bump nasties with hoors?
oh, and red baron, baby! i got high scores on both of the machines there. which either means i’m really good at primitive WWI vector flying games, or everyone else is too old to give a shit.
then there were all the pinball games. yowza. i got some really good time on one of my favorites, taxi, although i couldn’t get that gorbie shot down cleanly. i must be getting old. (i’m sure that exact phrase went through ronnie’s head a few times.)
and there’s my favorite pinball game of all time: whirlwind. it’s got these three discs on the middle of the playing field, and when you activate the tornado, they start spinning back and forth , so when the pinball rolls over them, it gets spun out and changes directions in just crazy ways. oh, and did i mention the fan that blows in your face? because you’re in a tornado? fucking fantastic.
i got hooked on this game uo poko, which is like bust-a-move or puzzle bobble in that you have to get three in a row to blow up the bubbles, but instead of a directional pointer that you shoot and bounce off the wall, you basically have a spring lever that you flick. and the bubbles don’t stick but they fall down like gravity. i was addicted. my arm hurt from flicking that spring for an hour.
the only game i didn’t get to play was mappy. you know, the one where you’re a policemouse, and you’re trying to stop the cat thieves from robbing the department store? using the trampolines? yeah, that one. i wanted to get on that one, but someone was playing over and over it for over an hour. DAMN YOU MAPPY HOG!
this almost makes up for not going to the roller derby finals, but i did play the pinball version of rollergames. and a motorcycle racing game where i was a texas cowgirl.
so it’s just the same.
only not.
i’m home for the first time this weekend after being away for four weekends in a row.
although i have to say, i was mighty tempted to fly out to austin to catch the texas rollergirls’ finals:
if you’re anywhere near austin, you’ve got to go. i guarantee it’s the best ten bucks you’ll ever spend.
you wouldn’t think it would be that hard to find an english translation of libretto from verdi’s falstaff online.
but it is.
sure, you can easily find it in the original italian almost anywhere you bother to look:
Tutto nel mondo è burla.
L’uom è nato burlone,
La fede in cor gli ciurla,
Gli ciurla la ragione.
Tutti gabbati! Irride
L’un l’altro ogni mortal.
Ma ride ben chi ride
La risata final.
hell, i can even find it in german:
Alles ist Spass auf Erden,
Der Mensch ein geborener Tor;
Und glauben wir weise zu werden,
Sind dümmer wir als zuvor.
Lauter Gefoppte! Weil Einer
Den Andern zum Narren macht.
Doch besser fürwahr lacht Keiner
Als wer am Ende lacht.
i can even find it translated side by side from italian to spanish:
Todo en el mundo es burla.
El hombre ha nacido burlón,
en su cerebro vacila
siempre su razón.
¡Todos embaucados!
Todo hombre se ríe
de los demás mortales,
mas ríe mejor quien ríe el último.
hell, i don’t even need the whole thing. all i need is the last part of act three, scene two. but the most i can dig up is the final chorus:
Everything in this world is in jest.
Man is born a jester.
Every mortal laughs at everybody else.
But he that laughs last, laughs the best.
goddamn internet. worthless.
itinerary:
oh, and i didn’t even mention that someone hit my miata while it was parked on the street, so that’s even some more fun to deal with.