blowfly blows

at the behest of cc, we went to see blowfly, the original dirty rapper. apparently he’s a legend. sure, he claims to have written the original dirty rap song, cleverly titled, “rapp dirty.” but who hasn’t done something like that back in the day? me, i’m actually responsible for the original lusty hip hop haiku, “haiku lizzle hizzle”:

oh baby baby
mmmm honey you look so fine
word to your mother

anyway, even flavorpill hyped this thing up:

as for blowfly, he was introduced by none other than jello biafra, who i had just minutes before mocked for wearing godawful (or godawfug) red girly pirate boots. blowfly came out in a silver sparkley superhero costume, complete with mask and cape, and proceeded to lay out some dope rhymes. and by “dope rhymes” i mean “really sad yet infantile purile lines that vaguely rhymed if you weren’t paying too much attention but were tittilated like an eleven year old who was excited some sixty year old guy in a cape kept talking about his dick”.

you know, i can actually get that for free down in the tenderloin. and it’d only cost me a bottle of mad dog. maybe not even that much.

but let yourself be the judge. example lyrics:

i fucked everything
because everything is you

and don’t forget that holiday classic:

pussy wasn’t made for drugs.
it’s for
ramming and slamming
douching and gushing
kissing… and a lot of pissing

yeah. for some reason we left early. it turns out that we should have gone to the midnight screening of the gay cowboy movie instead. or i should have stuck to my original plan of seeing “walk the line” and then sneaking into harry potter imax.

but then i wouldn’t be so educated.