the international polish movie star lifestyle

um, if you happen to be getting married this weekend, perhaps to a small jewish boy, and maybe if your name is danger, you perhaps shouldn’t read this.

shoo. shoo!

otherwise…

we took xz out for his bachelor party this weekend.

a fun time was had by all, although i must admit that i don’t understand the ceremony.

i mean, yeah, take the guy out right before his wedding, liquor him up, and drag him around town, and then get into trouble, right?

danger, are you still reading? dagnabit! git!

right.

1. dress him up in a cape and a furry hat.
2. throw him in stretch hummer
3. surround him with entourage
4. hire moderately buxom girls to hang on his arms
5. pass him off all night as famous polish movie star here on american tour
6. fool some people with heavy accents and business cards
7. if not, annoy the hell out of everyone else
8. pick up groupies along the way

all i remember is repeating to many a person that night, “he is famous polish movie star. here to make new film with… do you know this jerry bruckheimer? the bang bang man? yes, him! he make bang bang crashing film, with the pretty singing girl. no, not the good one, the other one. yes, ashley simpson! have you seen his films before? he is very famous in poland! his big film… like titanic! but with goats!”

two bars and two nightclubs later, we ended up at bagdad cafe at 3am. when by all rights we should have ended up at the strip club at 3am. what is a bachelor party without strippers?

even the girls we picked up on the way wanted strippers.

ah, these customs are so strange. perhaps i’m not cut out to for the polish movie star lifestyle after all.

Posted at September 11, 2005 10:25 PM