ass y mame

thank goodness for mame.

these brilliant guys have come up with a little arcade game emulator that you can run on your pc, allowing you to play classic games in the comfort of your own home. or bus. or work. er, i mean home. why get carpal tunnel syndrome using excel when you can get it playing gravitar?

best of all, there’s nobody hogging the machine, so you get to play all you want. like my new favorite game uo poko. or mappy.

THAT’S RIGHT MR. MAPPY HOG! i’ll be catching the cat burgulars now, bitch.

speaking of cat burgulars, i have a confession to make.

i saw catwoman.

no, not the real catwoman. that would be something exciting, something great.

i mean catwoman the movie. with halle berry. the one that’s full of ass.

no, i mean the movie’s full of ass. it’s so bad that from the opening moments, you hear the terrible voiceover and you know that this movie sucks and it’s going to suck hard the entire movie. and it’s only been THIRTY SECONDS SO FAR.

worst use of voiceover since harrison ford and the original version of blade runner.

there’s just so much ass in this movie. from the bad cgi to the bad acting to that senseless basketball scene to every other scene which is also pretty senseless. and then sharon stone as the aging beauty turned evil ceo who gains super-strong skin from her company’s toxic botox creme making her a supermodel version of the thing? not a bad concept, but oh, the acting. or what’s the opposite of acting? whatever that is. i saw it. it hurt my eyes. it burns. it burns, mommy.

how bad does a movie have to be that you can’t even sit there an enjoy halle berry walk around? well, i now know. it has to be catwoman bad. you do have to love her for having the good humor to laugh at herself and accept the razzie for worst actress in person.

but you don’t have to watch it.

Posted at August 15, 2005 8:49 AM