last week i was busy.
incredibly busy.
“doing what?” you ask.
i have no idea.
honestly, i really don’t know where the time went or what i was doing or why i felt so frantic and beat down and exhausted. only that i did. it was like the week before, where i was spending every waking hour studying, only that i wasn’t.
yet somehow i was busy, and didn’t have any time for anything but whatever i did.
when periods like that start happening, things start falling by the wayside. first posting blogs. then reading blogs. they start piling up, like huge piles of shit in your blog reader. you keep passing them by, and seeing them grow, and think, “damn, look at that huge pile of shit! i better do something about that before it gets unmanageable.” maybe you read a little bit of it, and it gets a little smaller, and it doesn’t smell so much.
but then it keeps growing and growing.
it’s like the litter box that you know you have to get around to changing. (oh, and did i mention the litter box needs changing?)
what else? reading newspapers. i take them in every day, maybe look at the sports section for about a minute, and then they pile up, unread. perhaps if i’m lucky, i’ll look at the arts section long enough for a front-page article to spoil the entire plot of million dollar baby for me. thanks, new york times! thank goodness hmc reads them, otherwise i’d turn into her mother, with piles and piles of newspapers from the last year waiting for me to catch up on them during some vacation, and exclaim, “terrorist attack? did you guys know that happened! governor schwarzenegger?”
do you know how bad it is? my dear friends, those who know me, who truely know me, will be shocked, horrified, and concerned by this next statement, so please brace yourselves.
i’ve been too busy to watch basketball.
yes, i know, the unthinkable. but even on tivo, i can’t seem to spare the hour of time to concentrate on a game. i keep getting up, doing this and that, thinking that there are all these pressing activities to do.
where is my mind?
i think that being married itself is turning out to be quite time consuming. it wasn’t so bad when we were living in separate cities, but now that she’s around, a lot of the time you had to yourself to finish up little things, or just fuss around with this or that is now taken up spent with your spouse, making sure that she’s ok, or just talking and being with her.
i told w this, and she said that being in non-married relationships is very time consuming as well.
i replied, “you have no idea.”
there’s just something different, somehow. maybe because it means more. maybe because she’s the love of your life, so nothing else matters. maybe because you can’t decide not to and go away and go home and be alone.
again, it’s certainly not a complaint, but regardless, i’m exhausted all the time.
i told this to rae at dirt lounge, and she said the same thing was happening to her as well (except for the being married part). after coming home from work, and then eating, and then you want us to go out to do what? are you kidding? maybe we’re just old and don’t have that extra energy like we used to.
personally, i think it’s that constant eating.
three times a day every day is a lot of work.
that’s lots of valuable basketball time right there.
Posted at February 6, 2005 7:33 AMHi from Brooklyn.
I am also trying to remember what happened last week that might have tired you out/taken over your life so. What were we doing? I think we cooked a big dinner once, eaten thrice (to speak to the ‘eating’ theory) though of course there were breakfasts and lunches, many of which were prepared at home. You came with me on errands - once? For 1.5 hours in the evening?
I’ve been having a similar problem conversationally - two people have asked me “So what do you *do* with your time? What do you do all day?” Since I haven’t been working. I feel like my days are full, though mostly with household stuff; since I don’t lead a life with a regular rhythm, I needed to undertake big home projects (organizing, figuring out what goes to storage which we’ve resisted til now). Almost like the interstitial parts of life, the things you would normally do for a couple hours every weekend, (if you lived at your home instead of being a visitor there), I have to do all at once for the past 2 years. At least. Probably longer. So it becomes an X-treme housewife activity. But I still feel stupid cause I can’t think of what to say to these curious folks. “Uh, shopping for groceries every other day, cooking, and cleaning.”
Maybe if I’m “home” for longer I’ll become more part of the furniture and my 10 day stints in SF (I’ve now spent 4 10-day stints in SF in the last 3 months!) won’t be such a draining time sucker for you, e.
Truly, I think you were worn out last week because my being there in such a small place means you can’t take your *naps*. That’s all it is. Just like when your 4 year old doesn’t get her naps, or your 80-year old Grandpa. Or Ed.
HMc
time-saver idea of the month:
eat food while watching basketball.
if that doesn’t work for you, you could always ingest your essential nutrients intravenously while napping, erranding, “working”, blogging, reading the newspaper, etc.
this idea will be the next Big Thing, doncha think?
Posted by: mac at February 7, 2005 1:51 PMuh…yeah, i was going to suggest what mac said, so this reply is irrelevant.
oh, except that yes, we are older and the energy is waning just like my metabolism…yay.
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