queer i

i’ve been catching up on my queer eye recently, plowing through something like six episodes this weekend, plus a couple of the queer eye uk series. this has nothing to do with them winning the emmy for best reality series, although i’m glad about that.

in doing so, i have realized that i still like this show, and it’s still entertaining, especially when they seem to have a serious effect on someone’s life and the straight guy takes it as an opportunity to change their life and not just get a bunch of free stuff.

although, i do get jealous and want the free stuff.

my new plan is to start getting sloppy and messy and dressing badly. i’ll let the apartment go to rot. i’ll get a bad haircut and stop washing it. grooming? what grooming?

and then i’ll hide all my nice clothes and fill it with stuff i buy at old navy. or maybe ross dress for less. and then i’ll have them come over and remake my whole life and house, and get all this great stuff! and then live in a more beautiful place.

i can even make up this story about how my straight cluelessness has driven my wife away to live in a different city from me, and if i (un)straighten up, i can woo her back home! or is that quoo her?

this is brilliant.

now, how do i grow one of those “beer bellies”?

Posted at September 20, 2004 11:13 PM