disinspirational

i’m so confused i don’t even know if i can sum it up.

well, ok, here it goes.

basically, it looks like i’m up for a promotion again. they’re offering me the strategic technical account manager position, so it’s basically what i’m doing now, but on a global account scale.

what does that mean?

i’m not sure.

no, that’s not true. it’s about having a technical vision for the account, it’s about setting the direction of what we will and won’t introduce there, it’s about coming up with new solutions and “out of box” thinking, and mostly it’s about fostering high-level technical relationships, between our people and their people.

but this still begs the question: do i want to do any of this?

i straight up asked my boss whether he thought i could do the job, and he said that i had earned the right to do it, and that he thought i definitely could do it, although it would be a big stretch. he did caution me that the problem he’s seen is when people get pushed into positions like this and don’t really want them, they can’t/won’t grow into it, and then everyone’s unhappy. (mental note: talk to current stam who’s leaving, as well as that se who became stam last year, but suddenly is no longer stam. what happened there?)

i went to yoga yesterday and somehow, everything was better. you do what you can, you try your best, and if it feels right, you can’t feel bad for doing what you did.

but then after coming home and having people start to dump their problems on me again, i’m all confused again. i can’t see straight.

i’m even watching episodes of queer eye, where someone’s taking this big move to improve their life, and wondering, “is this inspirational? or disinspirational?”

Posted at June 23, 2004 11:53 PM